SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN Commentary Track (A Big-Ass Pumpkin Day Extravaganza)

Jamie: 00:01:35

I do sometimes wonder if we are the last good podcast.

Cody: 00:01:41

That'S putting a lot of stock in us, which I don't think we deserve.

Jamie: 00:01:43

I mean morally.

Mike: 00:01:45

Morally, yes.

Jamie: 00:01:46

None of us are going to Saudi Arabia.

Cody: 00:01:49

Well, they. They didn't offer us enough money.

Mike: 00:01:51

That's true. They have not offered us anything. We have not. We have not actually had to make that moral decision yet.

Cody: 00:01:55

Yeah, there's no temptation yet, I say. Well, I figured this was all reverse psychology to get us like lined up for cash.

Jamie: 00:02:02

Still waiting for when wrestling blood money comes our way because of awa. Not from the Saudis, just from. Just a wrestling promoter.

Mike: 00:02:10

I'm sorry, I was just. I'm just really tickled right now with the idea of Saudi princes coming to box office poll and inviting us over to their wonderful country.

Cody: 00:02:20

Man. And then we just have to reenact Mission Impossible Ghost protocol.

Mike: 00:02:23

Oh, we can put our hands on that weird ball spear.

Cody: 00:02:29

Excuse me, do you have an orb I can ponder?

Jamie: 00:02:32

It's where the Monstars put all of the NBA players talent in Space Jam.

Mike: 00:02:37

You know, I want to hold the Saudi orb, but recreate the poster to the first Warlock movie.

Cody: 00:02:45

I want to hold the Saudi orb. What a weird euphemism.

Mike: 00:02:49

That's the new I want to drink. I want to drink the drink that Dracula drunk.

Jamie: 00:02:54

That's.

Cody: 00:02:55

That's how I warm up as a podcaster.

Jamie: 00:02:57

I forgot we had an entire scenario.

We were talking through a couple of weeks back about Cody arriving to us and announcing with his briefcase full of cash, our new angel investors, the cartel. Which cartel? All of them.

Cody: 00:03:14

Whichever ones we can get our hands on. We'll take them all. Let's just spend the rest of the podcast not even talking about Big Ass Pumpkin Day.

Let's just gossip about other standup and podcast comedians because apparently Theo Vaughn's last attempt to do a live special was real bad and that amuses me greatly. Engage. Hello and welcome to Box Office Pulp, your one stop podcast for movies, madness and moxie. Tonight is a very special night.

Not because we have some big time hotshot cool guest or, I don't know, nothing good has happened in our lives. But it's Big Ass Pumpkin Day. I mean, I'm assuming it's Big Ass Pumpkin Day wherever you are at home.

Hopefully you're listening to this on either Saturday or October 14th. If it's not either of those two conditions, it's not October 11th or the 14th. It is not, unfortunately, Big Ass Pumpkin Day.

And I don't know what to tell you. You really Google this year time zones? Yeah, you got to go back in time, or possibly forward if you're too early.

Regardless, we're going to pretend wherever you are right now, it's Big Ass Pumpkin Day, the second greatest day of October. Anyways, I'm your host, Cody. Joining me for whatever this ends up being are my co hosts, Mike. Say hello, Mike.

Mike: 00:04:19

I was originally going to make a pumpkin joke, but ever since you said back in time, all I can think is Kevin Nealon from that one SNL sketch sketch with Michael J. Fox where he's just in the elevator and just kind of singing the Power of Love to try to get Michael J. Fox's attention.

He just keeps kind of saying to go back in time, which isn't really a lyric to that song. And yeah, that's where my head's at now. Thank you, Cody.

Cody: 00:04:45

Not to get us too far off topic, but I did just watch Teen Wolf for the first time tonight right before this podcast. Oh, Jamie, our other co host. Say hello, Jamie. I refuse to let us get down the Teen Wolf rabbit hole until the episode starts proper. Go, Jamie, go.

Jamie: 00:05:00

I began this morning with a cup of of pumpkin spice flavored coffee filled to the brim with pumpkin spice creamer. So I have been positively DP'd by the season today.

Cody: 00:05:12

Pumpkin it up. Appreciate that. Way to live.

Mike: 00:05:16

Pumpkin it up.

Jamie: 00:05:17

Can we get Punk it up shirts?

Cody: 00:05:20

Unfortunately, we'll have to go back in time, so they're ready for big ass pumpkin day.

Mike: 00:05:24

I hate this.

Jamie: 00:05:25

Did you know Teen Wolf was written by Jeph Low?

Cody: 00:05:27

I did not. I knew very little about Teen Wolf other than Michael J. Fox plays a teenage werewolf who can play basketball.

And it turns out that is kind of all there is to the movie. Yeah, yeah, I, I really expected there to be more to the climax than Michael J. Fox manages to win a basketball game as not a werewolf.

And it just freeze frames and then it's, it's done.

Mike: 00:05:48

Yeah, you don't need more than that.

Jamie: 00:05:49

He fucked that girl as a wolf. Teen Wolf goes really hard when you think about it.

Like no other movie would actually have him A, fuck the popular girl instead of the nerd and B, buck her as the wolf. We don't talk about that enough as a society.

Cody: 00:06:06

I'm mostly impressed because I figured it wasn't going to be scary in any way, but I figured they would at least have some explanation for the lycanthropy. Instead of his dad just being like, well, happens. That's a family thing.

Jamie: 00:06:18

And that dad walking in, wolfed out like, well, son is like the funniest fucking thing in the world. Right?

Cody: 00:06:25

Like they kind of pull the rug out from me under you. Because it starts with like this really heavy, like thumping score.

And you think, ooh, it's like a heartbeat, like someone's running through the woods. And then you realize, oh, okay, it's a basketball joke because he's on a basketball court, but it's still his heart beating.

But it could be a basketball bouncing. And that's the last time they even attempt to make something scary or like thrilling inside of this werewolf movie.

Jamie: 00:06:49

Cody, I strongly recommend when you wrap up here looking up the old monstervision episode where Joe Bob Briggs is forced to play Teen Wolf. It is the most irritated you have ever seen him see anything. Like the rant he goes on about that screenplay is legendary.

That's one of my all time favorite put downs. It's one thing to write that line down, it's another thing to keep it in the movie. I think that a lot.

Cody: 00:07:21

So anyways, I finally, I don't know, I got it from like the Scream sale and I just had myself convinced. Oh, I bet this is a really good movie. It's just not scary. And then you watch it, you're like, I don't know if this is anything really.

It's not particularly funny. It's definitely dated. And I guess it says, it does what it says on the tin. Michael J. Fox is A werewolf boy. And he plays basketball.

That's all you need now.

Mike: 00:07:43

Now you need to watch Teen Wolf 2.

Cody: 00:07:45

Is Teen Wolf 2 any good? It annoys me because the title is Teen Wolf.

Jamie: 00:07:49

J. O Bateman, and it's about boxing. It's a werewolf boxing.

Cody: 00:07:54

Oh, he boxes this time.

Jamie: 00:07:55

The first movie. It's a remake of the first movie about his cousin. Oh, it's just the exact same movie, but a heavily coked up Jason Bateman boxing.

Cody: 00:08:05

Is this one of those deals where the MTV TV show Teen Wolf was far superior to absolutely actual original? Okay, yes.

Jamie: 00:08:14

It's weird. You actually can't argue that. Even if you hate that show, objectively, that's the best Teen Wolf thing.

Cody: 00:08:20

Wow. All right.

Jamie: 00:08:22

It amused me so much as somebody who did like the movie as a kid. Those couple of years where teenage girls wanted Teen Wolf and Styles to.

Mike: 00:08:32

I like how this is. This is what we're starting with and really blowing Cody's mind.

Cody: 00:08:37

I'm learning so much about Teen Wolf.

Jamie: 00:08:39

I really wish that there had been a. Instead of Teen Wolf, there was a Fright Night TV show on mtv.

Cody: 00:08:47

There should have been.

Jamie: 00:08:48

Kids grew up shipping Brewster and Evil Ed together.

Cody: 00:08:51

To be fair, there are, like a hundred different vampire TV shows kids could just watch. Like, they could watch the Vampire Diaries or whatever else.

Mike: 00:08:57

Not the same.

Jamie: 00:08:59

No.

Cody: 00:08:59

Yeah.

Jamie: 00:09:00

Also to bring it back to the point of tonight's episode, of course. Did you know that Jeph Loeb wrote Teen Wolf the same summer he wrote Commando?

actually not known until the: 2000

Cody: 00:09:13

I thought this was going to connect more to Big Ass Pumpkin Day. I thought they were going to wrap us back around to that.

Mike: 00:09:19

Well, Jeph Loeb wrote, of course, Batman, the Long Halloween.

Jamie: 00:09:24

Ah.

Mike: 00:09:24

Which famously has a pumpkin on one of the covers.

Cody: 00:09:28

Yes.

Mike: 00:09:28

So there you go.

Cody: 00:09:30

That's how that works. You did it, Mike. I thought you were going to say something surprising like, he wrote Pumpkinhead.

I was gonna be like, fuck, yes, now we're back in business.

Mike: 00:09:37

Fuck. That would be amazing. Speaking of Pumpkinhead, so we were. I'm just gonna reveal this. We were originally going to do commentary for R.L.

stine's bumpkinhead, which is premiering this month.

Cody: 00:09:48

And has nothing to do, as far as we are aware, with the original Pumpkinhead franchise.

Jamie: 00:09:53

The balls.

Mike: 00:09:54

Yeah, I know. No, we're calling it Pumpkinhead because I assume he didn't know Pumpkinhead was a thing and refused to change the name when it was brought up.

I think today's his Birthday, by the way.

Cody: 00:10:06

R. Stein.

Mike: 00:10:07

I think he's like happy birthday or something.

Cody: 00:10:09

Stein. Yeah, he's 80 something. Maybe even older than that. R.L. stine. Old as balls. He writes Goosebumps books.

I was really hoping Wikipedia, when I typed in R.L. stein, was going to start playing the theme music to Goosebumps.

Mike: 00:10:28

All of a sudden, all of a sudden, all the pages of Wikipedia fall on computer.

Jamie: 00:10:35

Wikipedia logo changes to be pointy and green. You look over at a dog is suddenly sinister.

Cody: 00:10:47

So it can't all be laughs and giggles.

Mike: 00:10:49

Here.

Cody: 00:10:49

,: 1943

Mike: 00:11:01

Ah, wrong. Was off by a day.

Cody: 00:11:03

Just. You're close.

Mike: 00:11:05

Real close, though it doesn't matter because this isn't getting posted till the 14th anyway, so.

Jamie: 00:11:09

Yeah, he still named that thing Pumpkin Hole, which will always be funny. I'm sorry. Pumpkin Head. Pumpkin Head was a couple of years ago.

Cody: 00:11:15

That was a different thing. That was a well put together drama that didn't have anything to do with horror.

Mike: 00:11:20

I was a very well made remake of the Machinist.

Cody: 00:11:25

Yeah, essentially, but with pumpkins.

Mike: 00:11:27

That's what that was. So it's better. So instead of that, we. Jamie and I, we didn't include Cody in this because you were busy.

Cody: 00:11:34

Sure, sure.

Mike: 00:11:35

We decided to come. I see how it is an alternative and.

Cody: 00:11:39

Oh, God. You're outside my house right now. Oh, no. A SWAT team comes in should my door break down. Oh, Christ.

Mike: 00:11:51

And Cody has to.

Cody: 00:11:52

It's robocop. I'm having my. It's robocop. I'm having my arm blown off. Piece of my body shot off one shotgun blast at a time.

Mike: 00:12:00

We have Pumpkin Man.

Cody: 00:12:02

Part man, part pumpkin.

Mike: 00:12:04

100% just rebuilt with pumpkin guts. They're just slopping all over the place.

Cody: 00:12:09

He's only good seasonally. He's only good for Halloween crime. Don't ask for him on Thanksgiving.

This is actually a smart way to make your movie because then you can combine that one guy who gets splashed in acid and just begging someone to kill him with the protagonist of the movie. They're just the same character now.

Jamie: 00:12:27

I'm sorry. Now, before we get away from it, I just want to say I in real life.

Now I want to scream, he's got a gun over a zoom call with the police outside just to see if it works. You could with so many people's day just shouting that into people, into the phone while other people are walking Around.

Mike: 00:12:46

That's the new swatting, Jim.

Cody: 00:12:47

You're gonna get people killed.

Mike: 00:12:50

We live in that kind of world now, Cody. Anyway, Pumpkins.

Cody: 00:12:53

Yes. Sorry to interrupt your story. I'll let you. I'll let you surprise me now.

Mike: 00:12:56

So I made the brilliant decision of just simply googling movies with pumpkins in them. I want to know what would come up and hack o Lantern Jack. Oh, that. That was tempting. No, we're never going back to Jacko. That was.

It was a thing we did once. We'll never do it again. So this is going to be a bit of a short ass pumpkin day.

Cody: 00:13:19

Short ass pumpkin.

Mike: 00:13:21

This is not a movie. I mean, technically it was released as a movie, but they didn't have enough story to support a movie.

Cody: 00:13:28

It was released as a movie, but it had two O's in it, so it was kind of just like. Not really.

Jamie: 00:13:34

Why? Is there an um, lot here?

Mike: 00:13:37

Look at it. I'm. I'm pasting the link. This movie is on. Is free officially on YouTube. It's on Tubi. It's pretty much everywhere. Because it's this.

And I'm now giving you the link.

Cody: 00:13:48

Okay, Can I click the link?

Mike: 00:13:50

You can click the link.

Cody: 00:13:51

It's Spookly the square pumpkin. Hold on, I have to pause it. It just wants this to be over so bad. It's already running.

Jamie: 00:13:59

Stop it, Cody.

Cody: 00:14:00

Stop it.

Mike: 00:14:01

Stop it.

Cody: 00:14:01

Go back, go back, go back. Okay, I am. I am reset on Spookly the square pumpkin, which I have.

Mike: 00:14:06

Movie is haunted.

Cody: 00:14:07

I've seen images of Spookly online and I always went, thank God I grew up past Spookly's time.

Jamie: 00:14:14

We sent you an image in the group chat last week. Just. Yeah, I thought that frighten you.

Cody: 00:14:20

I thought that was Toothy the tooth adventurer.

Jamie: 00:14:23

You're not far off, character design wise.

Cody: 00:14:25

In a world where the only good pumpkins are round pumpkins, Spookly the square pumpkin is a mistake. An outcast, a weed, an abomination before God's eyes.

Shunned by the other pumpkins because of his odd shape, Spookly is befriended by Edgar, Alan and Jeff. Three hilarious. It's Poe Three hilarious spiders who convince. Spookly. It's PO three hilarious spiders who convince. I don't like spiders.

Why are we watching a spider movie? Who convinced Spookly that Square, not he is a pumpkin, God damn it. And every pumpkin has the right to be the pick of the patch on.

Jamie: 00:14:59

Halloween, the metaphor for gay rights.

Mike: 00:15:02

Big ass motherfucking pumpkin.

Cody: 00:15:03

Is he big? I thought he was just Square. Does he get big? Don't tell me.

Mike: 00:15:07

I didn't. You know what? Let's all find out together here on big ass Pumpkin Day.

Cody: 00:15:11

Oh, this is really fun because it's free with ads. So, like there's just me random parts where I'm stuck two minutes behind you guys because I'm probably watching like five ads in a row.

Spookly the Square Pumpkin is a 47 minute and 14 second long adventure without ads. So you can probably afford to get the ads in there. You know, maybe an hour's worth of entertainment out of this deal.

Mike: 00:15:29

I actually didn't even see a button to buy this thing.

Cody: 00:15:32

It just can't just. Free with ads.

Mike: 00:15:34

Yeah, it doesn't say like I can buy it or anything.

Jamie: 00:15:36

Nobody owns Spookly. All right.

Cody: 00:15:38

It's also weird because the comments are turned off. Were people getting too rowdy in the comments for Spookly the Square Pumpkin? Did the incels find out about spookly anyways?

With 1.3 thousand likes spookly.

Mike: 00:15:49

I'm sorry, I'm just sitting on that.

Jamie: 00:15:50

For Spookly and his dei.

Mike: 00:15:52

It's just a hell of a thing.

Cody: 00:15:54

All right, I'm ready to go for this. Are you ready to go for this?

Mike: 00:15:58

I did find it uploaded for on the official Spookly the Square Pumpkin channel. I don't know if that will still carry ads with it or not. Oh, I don't know.

Cody: 00:16:06

Send me the link. Smook me, baby. One more time.

Mike: 00:16:09

I love how it's just on. Just officially on YouTube in like a dozen different places.

Cody: 00:16:15

Let's see, this one doesn't have anything about ads mentioned. I don't see ad breaks in like the stream times, apparently. Folks, this is the way to go. You want Spookly the Square Pumpkin from like the source?

Mike: 00:16:25

Fuck yeah. And I should say this is also based on a children's book. So you, if you would like, can read along with us at home.

Just read really fast or really slow technically.

Cody: 00:16:35

Oh, hey, there's also a link here for Super Kitty's Halloween Full episode. Season 1, episode 22.

Mike: 00:16:40

I don't like the name of that. Fine, the name of that. Also Spookly also has we discovered, I think, a Christmas special.

Cody: 00:16:47

Ooh, is he. Is he just dead and rotten by that point?

Jamie: 00:16:51

Burying Spookily.

Mike: 00:16:52

All right, so I am going to count to three. After I say three, we are going to go on this magical fucking ride. Hey, ride.

Magical hayride to the pumpkin patch of the freakish square pumpkin named Spookly.

Cody: 00:17:07

Oh, sorry. Let me. Let me turn on my closed captioning. There we go.

Jamie: 00:17:11

Oh, thank God.

Cody: 00:17:12

I got. I gotta know what Spookly's saying, and I gotta make sure I'm in 720p.

Jamie: 00:17:15

Of course.

Mike: 00:17:16

All right. One, two, three, go.

Cody: 00:17:22

Spookly, go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie: 00:17:29

Oh, God.

Cody: 00:17:31

This is unfortunate because I'm not even gonna be able to talk about the movie because I'm gonna be so fixated on trying to figure out what's happening.

Mike: 00:17:36

Oh, God. The. I'm sorry. The shadowing on the font really just got me.

Cody: 00:17:44

Is. Is this part of the Veggie Tales universe? Is there, like, a God that Spookly has to answer, too?

Mike: 00:17:51

I would just like to. I. So I. I sent the same image of Spookly that we sent you, Cody, that just haunted close up of Spookly's face.

I sent it without context to my girlfriend, who immediately responded in all caps, Spookly. Because my girlfriend fucking loves Spookly, the square pumpkin. So I'm sorry, babe. I'm probably gonna dunk on this thing for the next 47 minutes.

Cody: 00:18:23

It just seems like we're watching an episode of Pokemon, but with awful graphics.

Mike: 00:18:28

Pink.

Cody: 00:18:29

They're pink.

Jamie: 00:18:33

Let me tell you about Rasputin.

Cody: 00:18:39

You know that it's a shame we.

Jamie: 00:18:40

Didn'T get more shows up at the end of Anastasia. What the hell?

Cody: 00:18:44

Same universe should have got the same voice actors.

Mike: 00:18:49

And then in the dark of the night, just happens that this plays out its entirety.

Cody: 00:18:52

Considering no one else in the world is actually watching Spookly along with us, I feel like we need to do the Arnold Schwarzenegger thing and just narrate what's happening within the film. You see, there are two bats, and one is a girl bat, and there's a boy bat, and they are.

I'm not really quite sure because my script doesn't involve these lines, but they seem to be having an argument. Actually, I think they're actually. They're arguing if they should kill this ladybug.

And the boy bat is being introduced to vegetarian options, which is not how bats work. It's not gonna work.

Jamie: 00:19:24

No. No.

Mike: 00:19:24

Also, the bats are out during the day, and mats don't eat granola. They're. They eat bugs.

Jamie: 00:19:32

100% medically accurate. Or fruits.

Cody: 00:19:36

That's how I want all of my children's entertainment. Oh, no. The scarecrow lives.

Jamie: 00:19:41

This is one of the reasons we picked this. The oddest scarecrow design I think I've ever seen.

Cody: 00:19:53

They've got. They've got, like, giant fat heads These bats and I don't understand how they fly.

They're really struggling, so the animators must have thought the same thing. Everything in this universe is alive. The pumpkins are alive. The scarecrow's alive. The bats are alive. The bugs are alive. I'm terrible.

How do they eat anything? The fucking oatmeal is probably alive.

Jamie: 00:20:14

The scarecrow looks like a Dark Souls character.

Cody: 00:20:18

The helmet. Yeah, definitely makes him look like he should be fighting the Onion Knight or something.

Mike: 00:20:25

Jesus Christ.

Cody: 00:20:27

We're going to the circus. Is this thing that someone's gonna hear right before they're murdered?

Mike: 00:20:33

The horror pump.

Jamie: 00:20:34

Yes. All we know about this is we watched the trailer and look. Just looked at the poster and we were mystified.

Cody: 00:20:42

I. I assumed you watched the entire thing and I was just catching up. Okay. There's the. The music is so dramatic. Oh, no. They found this abomination. This blight.

Jamie: 00:20:55

He's already ashamed of himself. Why is one of them albino? What is. Oh, that's a melon. Why is one of them. I believe. Yeah, that's a cancel over movie star.

Cody: 00:21:06

That's an essential part of all children's entertainment. Jamie. It's weird because they all seem to agree that Spookly's pretty cool even though he's square. Except for the pumpkins.

Mike: 00:21:18

Even though they only just met him. So they don't know that.

Also, I don't know about you guys, but anytime I see a scarecrow in a movie, I assume it's Durant, who's undercover to kill Darkman. Dark man, who is of course retired to live on a farm.

Cody: 00:21:39

He's gone to seed.

Mike: 00:21:44

Dark Man 4 gone to seed.

Jamie: 00:21:49

Why are we watching Die Dark man die.

Cody: 00:21:52

Right now I'm more concerned about the speech. This pumpkin Hitler's given was like, he'll spread and there'll be more square pumpkins. We have to eliminate his breed now.

We have to cut off his line.

Mike: 00:22:06

Why are they all attached still? It's very disturbing.

Jamie: 00:22:09

Walter, have you been on Gord chan again?

Cody: 00:22:12

Maybe it's true. The incels did find Spookly. They're in the movie.

Jamie: 00:22:18

The incel is coming from inside the house.

Mike: 00:22:20

Oh, no.

Cody: 00:22:21

What is Spookly doing?

Mike: 00:22:22

That face don't make.

Cody: 00:22:23

He's turning red. He's going to explode. What are the other pumpkins named as a pumpkin?

Jamie: 00:22:34

I don't like things that are spooky.

Mike: 00:22:39

None of these. None of these who are talking all this big goddamn game know that they're going to be rotting on a front porch in a Monks.

Jamie: 00:22:48

Oh, it's like the long walk. It's like they're. This is a march into death. Like, they all know they're going to be hollowed out at the end of the month.

Cody: 00:22:57

They're waiting for it. They're excited for it.

Jamie: 00:23:02

Oh, God, never let me go. But it's about pumpkin.

Cody: 00:23:08

I guess you'll rot here. They're aware of them rotting.

Mike: 00:23:11

What. What. What is with the Melons, who seem.

Jamie: 00:23:15

To be: 1980

Cody: 00:23:23

I'm so confused, because they haven't introduced any of the other pumpkin names. I don't think so. They're on Spookly's name, but, like, what is a normal pumpkin name? Is it Fred?

Mike: 00:23:31

Like, they don't have names. He's the only one with a name, and they're jealous. Sorry, I know. I don't mean to be on Spookly's side. He's a monster. Look at him. You wouldn't.

You wouldn't get that pumpkin. Imagine that pumpkin sitting in the fucking cardboard box that they keep pumpkins in at stores.

Jamie: 00:23:48

It looks like a jello mold. Oh, God. A psychosexual spiral into madness.

Mike: 00:23:54

That was so odd.

Cody: 00:23:56

See, my.

My mom always made a point when we were out at the pumpkin patch to get the weirdest, ugliest pumpkins, so she would 100% be picking up Spookly to take home, and the rest of the family would make fun of her for picking the worst pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:24:13

God is sadness.

Mike: 00:24:14

You know, this really. The plot of this movie really does change, though. If it's spooky, I want this as a. I want that as a screensaver. The.

The plot of this movie really changes. If it's Spookly the long pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:24:29

He'S practically an egg.

Cody: 00:24:31

Oh, I am getting an ad.

Mike: 00:24:32

Boo. No Scotch tape.

Cody: 00:24:36

I'm getting an ad for Scotch tape. I'm skipping it. I'm back to the show. I'm back to the show.

Jamie: 00:24:40

Okay, back to the show. Those melons have weird spots on their undersides. The hell are they.

Mike: 00:24:51

I don't like that they're attached. Like they're feeding off of each other still.

Cody: 00:24:54

That's why there's a large pumpkin and a small pumpkin. Classic villain archetype, by the way.

Like, you have to have the small brains and then the big scary body, the big dumb muscle and then the small brains.

Mike: 00:25:07

I don't like that their abdomen's on their head. The Jack Olympics. I hate this.

Cody: 00:25:15

Oh, yeah. I don't.

Jamie: 00:25:20

Oh, God. I'll tell you, I was going through Reddit the other day and accidentally clicked on Jack Olympics. Oof.

Cody: 00:25:26

Wait, hold on, hold on. Does the scarecrow sound familiar?

Mike: 00:25:32

A little bit.

Cody: 00:25:33

Okay, I'm worried. Like, is this Jack Brayer to IMDb?

Jamie: 00:25:43

I assume if there are any celebrities in this movie, they're under assumed names.

Cody: 00:25:47

Yeah, that's probably fair. I need to know.

Mike: 00:25:50

It's really weird.

Jamie: 00:25:52

It's actually dubbed by the people who dub Hentai. Good for them.

Cody: 00:25:59

Okay, so I'm learning some stuff from the Wikipedia entry. Bobby Pickett, the guy who sings the monster mash, appears near the end. Spoilers, really? I'm trying not to have the whole thing ruined for me.

So yeah, I guess he's here at the end. And they're not white pumpkins. They are in fact honeydew melons. Because they're called the honeydews. The three singing honeydews.

They're supposed to be in the style melon. The Pointer Sisters, a vocal group from Oakland back in the 70s and 80s. I don't know why, but that's what they went with.

Mike: 00:26:35

Interesting.

Jamie: 00:26:37

What a weird thing that would be in like a mid-80s cartoon.

Mike: 00:26:45

Do people use buckets for scarecrows very often?

Jamie: 00:26:49

Give them night helmets.

Cody: 00:26:51

I gotta say, I have not seen a ton of scarecrows in my life.

Jamie: 00:26:54

Outside of media, I've never seen a scarecrow before. As a kid, I was very bitter.

Cody: 00:26:59

About this at a beach and it didn't make sense because that's sand. Like, what are you scaring off?

Mike: 00:27:04

Sharks?

Jamie: 00:27:07

Diamond smugglers, according to Baywatch. Look at his trot.

Mike: 00:27:13

What a monster.

Jamie: 00:27:16

Also, those bats seem to be changing size every time we see them.

Cody: 00:27:21

Spookly. You look like you're in such misery when you have to walk that way.

Mike: 00:27:25

You know, I. I don't know if anybody's taking notice of this, but the ground occasionally is different colors in random places for no particular reason and is a flat 2D image.

Jamie: 00:27:35

I was going to say the ground is a jpeg. I also think the sky may be a jpeg that's just moving.

Cody: 00:27:46

I was gonna say there's one. Oh, okay. The camera did switch there, but yeah, the background is slowly panning.

Mike: 00:27:54

I really don't like the mouth of the big pumpkin. That's really, really creeping me out. You think anybody's ever a pumpkin?

Cody: 00:28:00

Yeah, unfortunately.

Jamie: 00:28:01

We talked about this.

Mike: 00:28:02

Oh, right, yeah.

Jamie: 00:28:03

That was a meme for a while.

Mike: 00:28:04

Yeah. So Mike, I think with the, the any entire pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:28:13

Oh, like up the ass.

Cody: 00:28:15

Yeah.

Jamie: 00:28:16

It has to be a very smaller fist size pumpkins. Absolutely. If we're Talking whole gore. It's probably not.

Mike: 00:28:25

Even in Brazil where life is cheap.

Jamie: 00:28:28

It's been attempted.

Cody: 00:28:30

Like. I feel like you really missed a beat by not asking your girlfriend why she loves Spookly the square Pumpkin.

Because I. I feel like I missed the window to be into this, and it's too late now. And watching it this way will definitely not turn me into a fan. Is that an ear? Is that the fucking ear from Blue Velvet?

Oh, my God, Spookly, get away from it. You don't want to be lured into that world of intrigue and debauchery.

Jamie: 00:28:56

Oh, please don't shop Spookly into scenes from Blue Velvet. Put them in the closet.

Mike: 00:29:03

Spookly crying is a horrifying image.

Cody: 00:29:07

She wore square velvet.

Jamie: 00:29:15

Mike. Can the fucking image for this commentary be frank doing the gas mask. Blue Velvet and shape is there being set while it's happening?

Cody: 00:29:29

Honey, do melons and just. Just slamming melon.

Mike: 00:29:32

Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Just. Spookly is in an eye drop. Is in an eye drop right now. And that was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

Jamie: 00:29:43

There was an O face there.

Mike: 00:29:45

Now. Now I'm gonna have to ask my girlfriend detailed thoughts on why this.

Jamie: 00:29:51

Didn't she have the book?

Mike: 00:29:53

Yes. She read the book nightly to her children, and I assume she still reads.

Jamie: 00:29:59

It every single night. There's 17.

Cody: 00:30:07

Oh, man. To celebrate, I bought some cake bite pumpkin spice things from the grocery store this afternoon. It sounds like it should be.

I just had one, and this thing fucking sucks. This is awful.

Jamie: 00:30:24

Like, as a cake pop. Or is it specifically the pumpkin spice flavoring?

Cody: 00:30:28

I think the pumpkin spice flavoring doesn't do it any favors. And the. The cake part of it is very dry. Like I was expecting moist cake, and I'm getting, like, a. A fight to swallow this thing down.

Mike: 00:30:42

That's no good. He's got a crown now.

Cody: 00:30:45

That's right.

Mike: 00:30:45

Oh, my God. It's a candy corn crown.

Cody: 00:30:48

The candy corn crown.

Jamie: 00:30:50

We never seen that. The candy corn crown for the candy corn king. Perhaps a candy corn queen.

Cody: 00:31:01

Oh, no. The spiders have appeared. We have to burn down this entire patch.

Jamie: 00:31:12

Sergeant. Imagine an old Confederate general is pulling.

Mike: 00:31:15

Up on a horse.

Jamie: 00:31:21

Spookly burns to death credits.

Cody: 00:31:24

That's the lesson, though. The round pumpkins die at the same time as a square pumpkin. They realized they were all brothers in life.

Mike: 00:31:31

Everyone dies the same by fire.

Cody: 00:31:35

That's. It's a pumpkin's life, baby.

Mike: 00:31:38

I mean, I've never read the book. That could be actually the ending of It. That's the life lesson. It's. It's not so much accept people for being different that makes you special.

It's that at the end, we're all dust.

Cody: 00:31:51

That's right.

Mike: 00:31:58

Someone kill the spiders.

Cody: 00:31:59

Yeah. I think these guys are going to be main parts of the movie for the next 30 minutes.

Mike: 00:32:04

Why do they have fangs?

Cody: 00:32:05

I don't what to make them worse. I'm just glad they have two eyes. That's plenty. Ple.

Mike: 00:32:16

Please don't. The spiders are saying they have so many legs. Ah, this is haunted. He's doing spooky hands. What the fuck was that?

Cody: 00:32:34

To distract myself from this terrible thing, I just started reading the Halloween tree book.

Mike: 00:32:41

Nice.

Jamie: 00:32:42

That's lovely.

Cody: 00:32:43

I'm 40 pages in. It's a short, very short kid's book, I think. It's only 140 pages.

And it's just so weird, having grown up with the animated special, to go back to the actual source material. And all of a sudden Mount Round is not just like the weirdest, scariest, evilest man in the world.

So far, he seems like just a weirdo, but, like, relatively harmless. Who wants to help? It's. It's throwing me for a loop.

Mike: 00:33:07

He's not quite a warlock.

Cody: 00:33:09

I mean, they do have, like, he just got to a part where he just flings his cape wide open and can fly. But.

Jamie: 00:33:17

What I love about that book is how much it kind of feels like one big essay about Halloween that.

Mike: 00:33:25

Has a story wrapped around it.

Cody: 00:33:28

There's so many moments where Mount Trout just says, like, and now it's time to learn about Halloween.

Jamie: 00:33:35

Then he pulls out a little screen and we watch a video.

Cody: 00:33:38

It's kind of written that way. It feels like Bradbury was, like, given a check by Big Halloween to make a promotional video.

Jamie: 00:33:47

Also, can this be the new Big Ass Pumpkin Day song? Halloween is great for pumpkins.

Mike: 00:33:56

Did they not know how to sing? Like, did the actors not know the concept of singing? Also ghost here. So there are dead people in this farm.

Cody: 00:34:04

Everything in this. In this movie, Mike is alive. So it makes sense they would all die and their spirits would haunt the. The realm.

Jamie: 00:34:10

Oh, what an overabundance of souls in that world. That's a premise for a movie. I want somebody to do, like.

Mike: 00:34:20

A.

Jamie: 00:34:20

Higher power having to deal with the fact that every single thing on earth actually does have a soul. So that there's just an overabundance of souls because of animism.

Mike: 00:34:35

Just having to have an argument with a fucking leaf just seems like the.

Jamie: 00:34:39

Premise of an anime series or something that was overcrowded this week.

Cody: 00:34:44

That was a premise to a short story I had a while back. Basically, hey, God only made enough souls for like the 8,000 people that originally existed, and now there are too many people.

So you've got like eight important people with actual souls and nobody else got one. They're all mad about it. I hate these spiders so much.

Mike: 00:35:10

I, I, I really hope that this, this all seems to be taking place over the course of like, you know, part of a day.

Farmer gets up, gets out of bed and starts picking the pumpkins because this farm is to make pumpkin seeds and they're all ground up an industrial grinder.

Jamie: 00:35:33

I'm still trying to figure to say he, he was going to see all of this.

Mike: 00:35:37

What the.

Cody: 00:35:40

Again. Burn it down. Burn it all down.

I'm trying to figure out, I'm trying to figure out the vine situation here, because these two are the only two that are connected. The rest hall have their vines, but they're solo pumpkins.

Jamie: 00:35:53

And these two, it's a metaphor for codependency.

Cody: 00:35:57

The Tweedledum Tweedledee are using it to their advantage, though. They're doing jump rope. They'll probably use the clothesline of pumpkin and erase later.

Jamie: 00:36:05

Strangle a man. That's it. They kill the pumpkin or they kill the farmer so that they can rule over the pumpkin patch.

Cody: 00:36:16

The smack o lantern. Oh no. He's gonna crush those poor weird spider ants.

Jamie: 00:36:23

Extremely serious question. If there was a war between man and farm, what, what position, what side would the scarecrow be on?

Because he's both a farm instrument and an honorary farm animal. But he is also in the shape of man.

Cody: 00:36:45

That's a homogulous, Jamie. It's, it's much like Kingdom Come. He is being, I'm assuming the specter comes to him and makes him decide the fate of humanity at some point.

Because he has lived in both worlds of the animals and the man.

Jamie: 00:37:00

Oh, so it's, so it's Kingdom Come. If instead of that priest, it was Brother Power, the freak.

Mike: 00:37:09

God.

Can you just imagine that there's a war between the Gulf of man and Barnes, and scarecrows abandon their post, throw down their arms, will have no place in this war.

Jamie: 00:37:28

Oh, that's so ominous. The day all the scarecrows walked into the woods, they were done with madam.

Mike: 00:37:36

Farms and man wipe each other out. And then from the hills come the scarecrows, who now overtake the earth as the dominant life form.

Cody: 00:37:48

I love the idea of just making this kingdom Come because that means the government hears about this and their first reaction is we have to nuke them. We have to kill both sides. We have to just eliminate everything on this farm.

Jamie: 00:37:59

It's a. It's as we all. As Eisenhower feared, the scarecrows have come to take back the farmlands. That's their damn.

Mike: 00:38:06

We shouldn't have had all our weapons crow powered.

Cody: 00:38:10

Who is the Billy Batson in this one?

Jamie: 00:38:12

Drop lighters onto every farm. We're gonna put the fear of God into these crow boys. Little do they know that there has been allegiance between them and the crows.

We don't stand a chance. There's an army of scarecrows marching with crows. Flying, blocking.

Cody: 00:38:37

Oh, God. They became friends.

Mike: 00:38:41

Also, as we know from the film Scarecrow. Scarecrows can take on an elite commando unit.

Cody: 00:38:46

Absolutely.

Mike: 00:38:50

That is a bat holding spiders up by one of their legs. And I'm very disturbed. I hate these things. I hate them. I hate everything. I want these things to die. I want every creature in this farm to die.

Imagine this is the one farm on the planet Earth with all of these alive things. I hate it. I hate this place. Where are we? Not in world. What is happening?

Cody: 00:39:13

Not to make it worse for you, Mike, but the way he was holding them up, they didn't obey gravity like their core.

Jamie: 00:39:18

No.

Cody: 00:39:19

Didn't. Didn't like flop around or turn when they got yanked from the hind legs and held up. So their cores are Must. Yeah.

Their core strength is insanely strong.

Jamie: 00:39:28

Ah. Hello, sexy.

Mike: 00:39:33

Why sexy bat? Not that I'm not. I don't against a sexy bat. We've all seen Gary Oldman and Bram Stoker's Dracula. There's bees now. And other weird things.

What the was that?

Cody: 00:39:50

Spiders.

Jamie: 00:39:50

The old pot belly.

Cody: 00:39:54

They should have gone full out and just made this bat sing exactly like Tom Waits.

Jamie: 00:40:04

Doesn't Spookly the Square Pumpkin sound like a Tom Waits album? Not a song. An entire concept album.

Cody: 00:40:12

Spookly the Square Pumpkin getting a postcard from a hooker in Minneapolis.

Jamie: 00:40:17

Oh, there'd be an entire introductory song about a little farm girl who was struck half blind when her daddy hit her with a beer bottle. Finding Spookly in the field one day. And then they were outcasts together until the cancer took her.

Cody: 00:40:36

Could you imagine the stage banter if Tom Waits ever did this as a live album? I went on ebay and I bought the Last Dying Breath of Spookly the Square Pumpkin. No refunds.

Mike: 00:40:49

The Last Dying Breath of Spookly the Square Pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:40:53

Oh, he'd have A whole monologue where he explains the history. A jackal with a lantern.

Mike: 00:41:00

Also, wow, that's that. That bat was just about to eat that fucking spider with a personality.

Cody: 00:41:05

Oh, yeah, that's what that whole song was about. He's talking about deep frying and all sorts of stuff. He just wants to eat the bugs.

Jamie: 00:41:11

It's like Yellowjacket. He wants his enemy to be with him, inside of him forever. Their souls merged.

Mike: 00:41:20

No, I can't help but feel like they didn't need to put songs in this. Then again, how short would this thing be without the songs?

Cody: 00:41:26

Yeah, if you take the songs out. Mike, this is a 20 minute thing. Do they just fucking play a xylophone? And that spider ran away.

Mike: 00:41:35

That rock is so blurry.

Jamie: 00:41:39

It feels like we're watching Xavier Renegade Angel.

Mike: 00:41:42

I kind of feel like I'm playing a army men game on the N64 era.

Cody: 00:41:48

Oh, man, what a callback.

Jamie: 00:41:51

Oh, you know what this reminds me of my ninja bread, man.

Cody: 00:42:00

To be real for.

Mike: 00:42:01

Oh, another blast from the past.

Cody: 00:42:02

Oh, no, an ad. What's happening? What is this stuff?

Mike: 00:42:06

Oh, you're missing dangerous goods.

Cody: 00:42:08

Okay, I got my skip. So to get too real for a second, my dad, I think, trying to bond with me, bought me a PC game as a child.

That was one of the army men games, like the Plastic, you know, Nice. And he's all excited because, you know, he was big into military stuff, big into guns and all that, and thought like, the boy will like this.

And I just never played it. I don't know what it was. I just had no interest in this at all. I felt so bad because he's so excited about it. I'm just like, oh, yeah, whatever.

Now, the game he got about hunting dinosaurs, that, that, that brought us together. That was one we both enjoyed.

Mike: 00:42:44

That always works.

Cody: 00:42:47

It's terrifying to be hunted by a T. Rex. That's all I'm saying.

Jamie: 00:42:52

This movie's horny. I just want to say. Oh, God, the pea stalks are alive.

Mike: 00:42:59

What? What? What? No, I want to eat all these things. They should all die.

Cody: 00:43:06

Okay, how far back am I? The spiders are still talking to Spookly here. They're about to start the race.

Mike: 00:43:12

I think we are at 25 minutes and 55, 56, 57, 58.

Cody: 00:43:19

Oh, I am. Yeah. Like 20 seconds behind you. Oh, man, I'm just gonna skip to the end.

Mike: 00:43:27

No, you're watching this with us.

Cody: 00:43:30

Oh, man, Spooky's doing awful.

Mike: 00:43:33

Spookly suddenly can't move because the plot told him he can't move because he.

Jamie: 00:43:38

Can'T bounce because he's square, which should help him in bouncing.

Mike: 00:43:42

He won't roll.

Cody: 00:43:43

Yeah. It's weird because they showed him before, and he was able to walk on his pumpkin edges.

Jamie: 00:43:50

He's a pumpkin. And he tripped. I thought. What? I feel like if you play this, the spookly PlayStation game, I'm sure exists, you move forward by that little hop.

Like, I can. I can feel the sticky controls already. Oh, God.

Cody: 00:44:10

I. I tried to jump forward, like, 10 seconds here, so hopefully I didn't get too far ahead of you. What is happening? Spookly. He's just spinning in a circle like he's possessed.

Jamie: 00:44:23

Oh.

Cody: 00:44:23

Oh, oh. So close to winning, and so far, he has to rip himself free.

Mike: 00:44:29

What? What? Why? Why is the mud just weird? Dots looks.

Jamie: 00:44:35

He's got ice cream on him.

Mike: 00:44:40

It ain't over till. No, the race is over. Like, it was literally just called. You have to be in first place. What you're looking for is a marathon. That is not a race.

Cody: 00:44:55

I think a marathon is definitely a race.

Mike: 00:45:00

It is a kind of race, but it is most often just about finishing.

Cody: 00:45:09

Oh, shit. We got the law coming in. We got pumpkins disqualified.

Jamie: 00:45:15

Billy Mitchell all over again.

Mike: 00:45:17

Why does a spider want to fuck a bat? Like, that's. It's not even possible. Like, what is it gonna do? Crawl into her bat pussy?

Cody: 00:45:25

Yeah, I don't. I didn't like that phrase. Can we strike it from the show?

Jamie: 00:45:29

Well, you know how, like, a spider bites into its prey after it's wrapped up, liquefies its internal organs, and then drinks it for sustenance? Imagine that. But he's doing it to her bat clitoris.

Cody: 00:45:43

I don't like any of this. This is.

Mike: 00:45:45

Which is under the hood of her bat.

Jamie: 00:45:49

Yes, I would like.

Cody: 00:45:51

Your turn. Now.

Mike: 00:46:00

That is a Ultimate Avengers reference for those not keeping score. So there's eggplants now. These things are monsters.

Cody: 00:46:11

Why did the eggplants agree to this? Like, yeah, just line us up and beat the out of us for your Olympics.

Mike: 00:46:16

They're all masochists.

Cody: 00:46:20

This is so weird. I do not enjoy the fact that these guys love being pins.

Jamie: 00:46:27

I don't like that there's a hierarchy, apparently.

Cody: 00:46:31

Okay, the dual pumpkins shouldn't be allowed to go together. It's not fair. They got, like, a clothesline they can do. Are they gonna clothesline? I called that.

Jamie: 00:46:38

You called it.

Mike: 00:46:39

Also, what season is this where all these things are growing at once?

Cody: 00:46:48

It's magical. Farm world, Mike. There's no Farmers. The pumpkins live in harmony with the insects instead of being eaten on by them.

Mike: 00:47:02

Someone just fucking kill Spookly. Just end his life, please.

Cody: 00:47:06

I hope he gets into this thing and he can't fall out of it because he's square. Why is he bouncing like that? What is he made of?

Mike: 00:47:15

I love Cody being behind. Why is the female pumpkin named Bobo?

Jamie: 00:47:23

That's so. That's so odd. The rouge. The bat of Spookly.

Cody: 00:47:27

She's.

Mike: 00:47:29

What?

Cody: 00:47:29

Why did she win again?

Mike: 00:47:36

He's the Scarecrow.

Cody: 00:47:41

This is some horseshit.

Mike: 00:47:42

Flowers.

Cody: 00:47:43

Why do you.

Mike: 00:47:43

How. What year is that? What is going on?

Cody: 00:47:47

I'll get to your complaints in a second. I'm still upset. Why was Big Tom disqualified? Why didn't they warn them? Like, hey, if you guys go the way you're gonna go down, you. You won't win.

Like, you can't. There's no point.

Jamie: 00:47:59

This goddamn Jack Olympics.

Mike: 00:48:01

I just told you. Bobo's the Scarecrow.

Jamie: 00:48:05

It's.

Cody: 00:48:06

It's like. This is some horseshit here. I would be pissed if I was big time. I'd be like, I'm not playing because every time I do anything, you disqualify me.

I can't help. I'm connected to my brother.

Mike: 00:48:14

I just thought of freakish. I just thought of the most disgusting phrase that I don't want to say, but I also kind of want to say it. But.

No, I shouldn't, but I still kind of want to say it, and I probably am going to say it.

Cody: 00:48:36

Don't say don't. I don't know what's going through your head, but don't say it. I'm gonna.

I'm gonna try and distract us by just talking about how the last part of this should be the Thunderdome, and then Big Tom should be like the Master Blaster. Just, you know, two pumpkins enter, one pumpkin leaves.

Mike: 00:48:56

They kind of are the master blaster of the situation.

Cody: 00:49:03

Oh. So once again, it was impossible for these pumpkins to win because Big Tom is too fat to get through the hole. What the. Why?

Mike: 00:49:14

Why What? Yam talk. That's a supremacist thing to say. Why is Spookly acting like he's dying of cancer?

Cody: 00:49:24

That's actually Spookly's origin. He was a make a wish kid, and this is what he wished for. He wanted to be a square pumpkin. Spookly Mike. You said that perfectly lined up with.

When they launched Spookly into the atmosphere on that. That launcher. I don't understand why Spookly was bad at this one because it should just work. Sorry. Go ahead, Jamie.

Jamie: 00:49:51

Sorry. I have a scarecrow sex joke. It's time to give the scarecrow some brain.

Mike: 00:49:57

Yeah, continue.

Jamie: 00:49:58

Continue everyone.

Cody: 00:49:59

Well, you really got stuff.

Mike: 00:50:00

You see, mine was just. Oh, she lets him scarecrow come in her guts.

Cody: 00:50:07

I hate it. I don't like it.

Mike: 00:50:08

Which is just, you know, as blatant as you could get. But I just like that collection of words. It was terrible.

Jamie: 00:50:14

Scarecrow come. Like. Like with a hyphen.

Cody: 00:50:17

Oh, no.

Mike: 00:50:17

Yes. And use your imagination.

Jamie: 00:50:21

I don't want you all comes out.

Mike: 00:50:23

It's bugs.

Jamie: 00:50:24

This isn't bugs.

Cody: 00:50:26

This is an awful day to have ears.

Mike: 00:50:28

Oh, he's just Cody. We are talking.

Cody: 00:50:33

And unfortunately I have.

Mike: 00:50:34

To hear it because a scarecrow's outside all the time. Bugs are going to crawl in there and start living in there because it's a nice warm place. So scarecrows would be full of bugs.

Jamie: 00:50:43

I feel like a sentient scarecrow would take great pride in keeping other creatures out of them. Especially in a world where, as we know, bugs are alive and have souls and opinions.

Mike: 00:50:56

Yeah.

Jamie: 00:50:57

Basically have roommates at that point.

Mike: 00:50:59

Yeah. So he would be happy being a house for bugs and use it in his sexual games with this female pumpkin.

The one female pumpkin in this entire goddamn farm. The only female outside of a bat in this entire farm. So everybody is taking a turn on Bobo.

Jamie: 00:51:17

You're assuming nobody's getting the money.

Cody: 00:51:21

I just wanted to say that Jamie's got you there. But Mike, this is clearly under operating underneath like Smurfette logic. It's. It's just fine. That's just how the pumpkin patch rolls.

Mike: 00:51:31

That's what Gargamel had a had difficulty accepting the Smurfs as things is because he knew what was happening. There was a crime. Anyway, the melons are singing now again.

Jamie: 00:51:45

Transylvania twist specifically.

Mike: 00:51:47

Why? Why, why are they the California Raisins?

Jamie: 00:51:50

Oh God. Oh no. Satan is arriving.

Mike: 00:51:55

Wow, look at those blurry pixelated clouds.

Cody: 00:51:59

Hey, spoiler.

Mike: 00:52:00

Jesus Christ. I know this was: 2005

Jamie: 00:52:07

Just jpegs of black clouds being slid across.

Mike: 00:52:11

y fuck. Toy Story came out in: 1997

Jamie: 00:52:17

z movies that came out in the: 2000

Cody: 00:52:23

I remember those. Yeah, they always stocked up on them at the Walmart discount bin.

Mike: 00:52:28

There's a Tom and Jerry wizard of Oz movie.

Cody: 00:52:30

There is. They also is a Tom and Jerry Willy Wonka. For some reason. Tom and Jerry just get into a.

Mike: 00:52:38

Bunch of weird adventures Also, there's a narrator now. I've kind of forgot there was a narrator. It's been a while. Aha. You round freaks. I'm sorry. This is what gives Spookly an edge. I'm sorry.

I'm pretty sure the wind would still carry Spookly away, square or not.

Jamie: 00:53:05

Also, he. He tripped going forward earlier. He does not seem particularly sturdy.

Cody: 00:53:13

Man. Oh, that. Look at that. Scarecrow is getting up by the wind. This is a hurricane.

Mike: 00:53:18

I'm really impressed with how powerful this candy corn crown is.

Cody: 00:53:29

Oh, they up. There goes the candy corn crown.

Mike: 00:53:33

We have to make that. We really have to make that.

Jamie: 00:53:35

The candy corn crown.

Mike: 00:53:36

I can probably get. I can probably ask my girlfriend to make it. Kelly would.

Jamie: 00:53:40

Kelly would absolutely make a candy corn crown.

Cody: 00:53:42

I'm really surprised we don't see those as a thing for, like, crowning contest winners. Like.

Mike: 00:53:47

Right.

Cody: 00:53:48

Happy Halloween. You definitely had the best Edward Scissorhands costume. Here's your candy crown.

Mike: 00:53:53

And literally no one would eat it.

Jamie: 00:53:55

Well, I think candy corn is actually made entirely of some kind of wax silicone hybrid. So I think that will, like, all the candy core in the world will still be in landfills a thousand years from now. Oh, God. His back is broke.

Cody: 00:54:15

He's a scarecrow. It doesn't matter.

Mike: 00:54:17

Why do we fall, Mr. Scarecrow?

Jamie: 00:54:19

If only these bats could fly to safety.

Mike: 00:54:23

Jesus Christ. Is the scarecrow gonna light on fire? It'd be awesome.

Cody: 00:54:28

What is. What is Spookly supposed to do about any of this? So the scarecrow is about to be on fire. Yeah.

The other pumpkins are slowly rolling away in their wagon. I think they're slowly moving. It's hard to tell.

Mike: 00:54:42

You know, Spookly has real. Like, Walker told me, I have AIDS energy film.

Cody: 00:54:47

Oh, no.

Mike: 00:54:51

God. Imagine the ending of Philadelphia, but it happens as Spookly.

Cody: 00:54:54

Oh, very different movie.

Mike: 00:54:59

I'm pulling out all the oldies for this one.

Cody: 00:55:02

Spooky. Just use your leaf hands to cover your eyes. Don't look at this massacre.

Mike: 00:55:06

Oh, Spookly can walk now. When the wrath of God is coming.

Jamie: 00:55:10

Down, the wind is pushing him forward.

Cody: 00:55:13

I appreciate this, too, that Spookly has to knock over the water tower to put out the scarecrow.

Mike: 00:55:19

Get Scarecrow.

Cody: 00:55:23

It's just one of those things, like, he's on fire, and he's trying to put it out with a burning brush here. But it's. It's raining. It's like a hurricane. Why is he still on fire? Shouldn't that be enough to put it out?

Mike: 00:55:36

It should be. I Don't understand how there's fire.

Cody: 00:55:39

What is the logic here in this kids cartoon?

Mike: 00:55:41

Seeing Spookly move with his weird vine hands. I don't like it. Don't.

Jamie: 00:55:46

Slowly inching himself up backwards. Up a spout.

Cody: 00:55:51

My cousin and I did this once at a playground and I fell down at the top, hit him. He fell down and broke his pinky toe. And he's never forgiven me.

It was basically this exact same scenario without the hurricane or the talking scarecrow or the square pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:56:09

There was a scarecrow though. That part was there.

Cody: 00:56:12

Same thing. Oh God. Now they're waterboarding the scarecrow.

Jamie: 00:56:19

You have to. That's. That's threading a goddamn needle.

Mike: 00:56:24

Oh no. My pinky toe.

Jamie: 00:56:26

I'll never walk again.

Cody: 00:56:28

Look, it was. It was years before he like even kind of let it go. So I try not to mention it to him.

Mike: 00:56:33

Spookly knew what must be done and he just turns and shrouds himself.

Cody: 00:56:40

Finish them, Spookly. Finish them.

Jamie: 00:56:43

Must be appeased.

Cody: 00:56:52

I'm waiting to see where the rest of the square thing comes into play here. And so far it's just. If adorable storm comes along, he can't be moved easily.

Mike: 00:57:03

Also, where's the farmer and all this? All of his crops are being destroyed apparently.

Jamie: 00:57:12

It's actually Fun fact takes place far in the future where like us smart homes are still running all the farms. But humanity has died out. That's why everything's in season at once. Ah, like that Bradbury story.

There will come a heavy rain, but with square pumpkins.

Mike: 00:57:28

Where the wild wind blows.

Cody: 00:57:30

Fun fact. This is actually kind of a prequel to the opening five minutes of Twister.

Mike: 00:57:38

That's happening off to the side.

Cody: 00:57:40

Yeah, that's. The farmer's dealing with that right now, so don't get on his case.

Mike: 00:57:48

You did nothing to save me, Spookly. Also, wouldn't the scarecrow be sopping wet and just falling apart right now? You'd think, God, that'd be so sad.

Cody: 00:58:05

Get bent, Spookly.

Mike: 00:58:06

We're all gonna cut ourselves and make a square.

Cody: 00:58:15

Also, my. My subtitles have just been way off this whole time. It just keeps saying Transylvanian twist throughout this whole scene.

Jamie: 00:58:25

Everyone turns to the camera. Transylvania twist. Transylvania twist.

Cody: 00:58:36

Yes. It would be wrong for a bat to fall in love with a spider.

Jamie: 00:58:42

As if that's the only political opinion we state on this show.

Cody: 00:58:45

Let it be that I don't want bat spider hybrids. I've seen Gremlins too. It's terrifying.

Jamie: 00:58:52

Ah, but every goth girl in America would have A new best friend.

Mike: 00:58:58

God, that's my Kobayashi Maru. Bat spiders.

Cody: 00:59:04

I would assume if I got in a bat spider situation. No. If I'm in a situation with a bat spider, the only correct solution is to just immediately kill myself. Just. Just. Nope.

I don't want to live in this world.

Mike: 00:59:17

Same. Say what? Why are the ghosts so tiny? Who were these people? Pygmies?

Jamie: 00:59:25

This is the ranch that the Borrowers took place on.

Mike: 00:59:29

Oh, God, they starved.

Cody: 00:59:32

Are the ghosts supposed to be the monster Mash dude? Is that him? Wikipedia promised me that Bobby Pickett was in here somewhere.

Mike: 00:59:45

You know, people don't play the Transylvania twist enough anymore.

Jamie: 00:59:49

Could Bobby Pickett perhaps be the narrator? Maybe A very aged man.

Cody: 00:59:54

True. They did say he had a small cameo at the end of the film.

Jamie: 00:59:59

He just walks out and says, monster mash, and then grabs a gun.

Mike: 01:00:03

And that was the last role he was ever in. Ah. Ah. Spookly's dancing by just having a weird morph effect applied to him.

Cody: 01:00:12

Uh oh. Oh, now he's so. He's like, jello.

Mike: 01:00:20

Blurry, too. What, are the other pumpkins not alive yet? Or are they just not dealing with the. The. This.

Cody: 01:00:27

They had enough of the honey melons, and they're like, we're. We're peace. Now we're just shutting down. I'm more impressed they can wear these sunglasses without ears or nose. Oh, yeah, he definitely does.

Mike: 01:00:45

Suddenly, a pickup truck runs them over, and John Goodman Guts gets out and carrying Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and he goes, we've been watching 10 Cloverfield Lane all along.

Cody: 01:01:04

Oh, there's the farmer there. That's the monster Masher himself. Why is he checking his crop with a lantern? Shouldn't he be, like, looking at shit during the day?

Jamie: 01:01:18

It's so he can burn it all. They hurt my throat with that one.

Cody: 01:01:27

Man, I can't wait for them to do a live action remake with the rock for this.

Mike: 01:01:33

The things I'm gonna do to this pumpkin.

Jamie: 01:01:36

Oh, I can use his corners like handles.

Mike: 01:01:42

Spookly wanted to die that night.

Cody: 01:01:46

Spooky. This is actually very sad.

Mike: 01:01:48

Spookly.

Cody: 01:01:49

Spookly finally makes friends and gets acceptance from the clan, and he just gets yanked out. Go live alone in the house.

Mike: 01:02:00

Is Jesus Christ. So he was hollowed out. He'd be dead.

Jamie: 01:02:07

He's like, Jonah. He's dead. Demoted.

Mike: 01:02:14

Oh, God. Well, why are they all lights now? What the is going on? Are they dead? Is this all happening in the snow globe of a dying child who's in a coma?

Jamie: 01:02:22

Oh, maybe it is the Halloween tree. That's the dead kid soul. Each of those.

Mike: 01:02:27

Ah, the greatest boy who ever lived.

Cody: 01:02:31

They do keep that line in the book. Pip is the greatest boy who ever existed.

Mike: 01:02:37

Pip's gonna kill me. I'm sorry. I'm still really, all these years later, still really proud of my sinister Pip intro for our Halloween tree commentary.

The greatest boar who ever lived. So. Wow. Rick Jones of Incredible Hulk fame was the voice director from this.

Cody: 01:03:07

Wow. And now it's 40 minutes of credits.

Jamie: 01:03:10

Incredible Negative zone. I I, I Other honeydews Lead Honeydew. There were three honeydews and there were still five voices. What?

Cody: 01:03:26

They fired the first two.

Mike: 01:03:27

Obvious animation product. What a terrible name for a production company.

Cody: 01:03:31

There's worse.

Mike: 01:03:40

This is the version that uses him. So I'm, I'm seeing a lot of kind of French names and stuff in here.

Cody: 01:03:54

It is a Canadian production, so maybe it's all French Canadians.

Jamie: 01:04:00

Either way, I feel like this was subsidized by a government and there should be an investigation.

Cody: 01:04:08

This damn pro square pumpkin propaganda.

Mike: 01:04:14

I, I got nothing.

Cody: 01:04:21

Reception. Common Sense Media rated the film 4 out of 5 stars.

Jamie: 01:04:29

It was very progressive that a spider wanted to fuck a bat.

Cody: 01:04:35

Okay, they must have been digging really deep to find this stuff to throw into the Wikipedia article because the reception area has two reviews, one from Common Sense Media and the other is the website in the playroom.

Stated together with some Halloween crafts like carving a pumpkin and some Halloween sweets, this will make a perfect Halloween special night for the children. So they just found a website.

Jamie: 01:04:59

Kill Spookly.

Cody: 01:05:01

They just made. They just found a website. There's not even a link to in the playroom, so I'm assuming it's no longer a functional website.

And they're like, there we go. That's a review. Good enough.

Jamie: 01:05:09

I.

Mike: 01:05:10

Okay, let's say we. Let's gather all the children around. Let's watch Spookly the square pumpkin. All right, Spookly. The square pumpkin's over, kids.

Now it's time to carve a jack o lantern. Pretend each one is Spookly. They're all alive. See, now I'm four watching Spookly every year.

Cody: 01:05:26

Okay, that'd be kind of fun.

Jamie: 01:05:27

I got Spookly and the Christmas kittens. Judging by the thumbnail, appears to be stop motion.

Cody: 01:05:32

I'm a little disappointed because back in the day, this would have been like a puppet or stop motion type show. And instead we got cgi, which doesn't age very well. And it's, it's a real shame if this was A big felt pumpkin. I probably would have been into it.

Mike: 01:05:44

Spookly. The Spookly. And the Christmas kittens appears to have money because they actually can afford shading. Ooh, there's shadows. Things are weirdly shiny.

Like they. They. What they did is they. They totally got an after effects plugin.

Cody: 01:05:59

Fun fact. This was distributed by Kid Toon Films and Lionsgate.

Mike: 01:06:04

Jesus Christ.

Jamie: 01:06:05

The people who brought you saw.

Mike: 01:06:07

Okay, I just realized something. So it's the. It's a Christmas kitten. So it's in Christmas colors, right?

Cody: 01:06:12

Sure, that would make sense.

Mike: 01:06:13

It. It just looks like a Freddy Krueger colored cap.

Jamie: 01:06:17

Oh, God, it does. Or a Pokemon of some kind.

Mike: 01:06:20

I am gonna dye Bath's hair. She'll love it.

Jamie: 01:06:24

Oh, just give her just the sweater on the torso.

Mike: 01:06:27

Yes.

Jamie: 01:06:28

And. And while you're doing that, she'll slice you up like Freddy. So.

Mike: 01:06:33

Related movies it's too bad one of.

Cody: 01:06:35

Us didn't celebrate this by making a pumpkin square. We really missed opportunity.

Mike: 01:06:39

Next year. Next year that'll. That'll be our new thing. We have to make a square pumpkin thing. Also, one of the related movies is Godzilla vs destroyer.

Jamie: 01:06:46

Oh, and 13 ghosts. Also the Ugly Dolls movie, which I forgot happened.

Mike: 01:06:53

And Batman, Gotham Knight.

Cody: 01:06:55

All the things I would expect from a animated pumpkin. Music.

Mike: 01:06:59

And hundreds of beavers.

Cody: 01:07:00

Yes.

Mike: 01:07:01

Okay.

Cody: 01:07:02

Okay.

Mike: 01:07:02

Beautiful. Then we just watch Hundreds of beavers for the rest of big ass pumpkin day. That's what you. That's what you can do, folks at home. You can.

After watching Spookly the square pumpkin and wondering how there could ever be a God and how everyone could have any at any point in human history believed that there was a God. Watch Hundreds of Beavers.

Cody: 01:07:22

It's pretty good. I don't know if you need to question why things are the way they are before watching it. I think you just watch Hundreds of beavers.

Mike: 01:07:29

I don't.

Cody: 01:07:29

You don't have to be in that kind of frame of mind.

Jamie: 01:07:31

Box office Pull. What kind of God?

Mike: 01:07:36

I don't hope for a better world for anyone. That's what Spookly has done to me.

Cody: 01:07:40

Just the high evolutionary. There was no God, so I stepped in. But it's a guy in one of the beaver suits from hundreds of beavers.

Jamie: 01:07:47

Creating Spookly the square pumpkin. Also, Mike, just entirely for our amusement. On the the related movies the fucking squirrel that Superman saved Fighting back Zack Snyder Superman.

Mike: 01:08:03

What the is this? Laura and Ulysses is a delightful comedy adventure based on the Newberry Award winning book about 10 year old flora. An avid comic book fan.

And God damn it. And self avowed cynic.

Jamie: 01:08:15

So she's an incel whose parents have.

Mike: 01:08:17

Recently separated after rescuing a squirrel she named Ulysses.

Flora is amazed to discover he possesses unique superhero powers which takes them on an adventure of humorous complications that ultimately changed Flora's life and her outlook forever. Sorry, mom and dad are still splitting up.

Jamie: 01:08:34

eems like a Disney movie from: 2006

Mike: 01:08:41

Oh, God. It's. It's live action.

Jamie: 01:08:43

The squirrel did an iron man drop.

Cody: 01:08:45

I mean, I'm just going to cut us off there. I don't know if we need to see anything more.

Mike: 01:08:48

We don't need to go further into this. I got. I got nothing.

Cody: 01:08:52

Folks at home, hopefully you've enjoyed Spookly the Square Pumpkin. I was confused by it, but it's also the first time I've seen it and I couldn't hear half what was happening. Huh.

Jamie: 01:08:59

I'm sorry again. A Danny Pooty and oh God, John Ralphio is there.

Mike: 01:09:07

In other times, I might low Kate Micucci.

Cody: 01:09:09

What the. At some point I might give a about that kind of voice cast, but again, the brewers are playing.

Mike: 01:09:15

So this is a live action movie.

Cody: 01:09:18

I still don't give a. I don't care. I don't care at all.

Mike: 01:09:23

We broke Cody with Spookly the square Pumpkin.

Cody: 01:09:26

I just. I just want to go watch my sports. I want to go see the Cubs lose.

Speaker E: 01:09:30

Win.

Mike: 01:09:31

Big ass pumpkin day. Cody, you didn't make a drink.

Cody: 01:09:34

I actually did. I just didn't tell anyone about it. No, this was. It's not much of a cocktail. It's. It's just. It's not a cocktail at all, actually. It's.

It's just pomegranate juice and apple cider.

Jamie: 01:09:43

It's just drunk.

Cody: 01:09:46

It's just juice.

Mike: 01:09:46

You decided to change things up this year?

Cody: 01:09:49

You know, my fridge was too full to get ingredients for another cocktail, so I was like, no, we don't have to do this.

Mike: 01:09:54

I bought the cake pops.

Cody: 01:09:56

Huge mistake. I should just bought some pumpkin beer. Anyways, folks, I hope you enjoy either your second Saturday of October or October 14th, whichever you prefer.

And you have a big ass pumpkin day to remember. Go carve the largest pumpkin you can find, square or not. I think that's pretty much all the traditions for big ass pumpkin day.

So I was trying to dig deep into the well for other things, but pretty much the only requirements. Well, now you have the tools to enjoy the holly. All right, let's hit her. I Wish I had a kazoo. Big ass, big ass pumpkin day.

Big ass, big ass pumpkin day. Big ass, big ass, pumpkin day. It's a big ass pumpkin day, everybody. Big ass, big ass, pumpkin day. Big ass, big ass, pumpkin day.

Mike: 01:10:42

Big ass.

Cody: 01:10:43

Oh, God, they found me. They just burned my house down. It's the end of the episode. I just get swatted and it's over.

Mike: 01:10:52

That pumpkin's gonna go on.

Cody: 01:10:55

That's how they carve. That's how all cops carve pumpkins.

Mike: 01:10:57

It's just like you're being held up, like being told to get your hands up, and then suddenly you just punch a pumpkin that's next to you and pull out an Uzi and start firing. Let's take a movie based around that one.

Jamie: 01:11:10

The Uzi's in the pumpkin.

Mike: 01:11:11

Yes, a whole pumpkin. It's not been carved somehow. It's in the pumpkin.

Jamie: 01:11:15

The pumpkin's got a grenade.

Cody: 01:11:18

Anyways, folks, that's all I got. That's a wrap. Get out of here. Go enjoy your holiday. Tell them Bob sent you.

That's what you have to say at the pumpkin patch or they won't give you a square pumpkin. I've tried a thousand other ways, and they just won't give you a square pumpkin.

Mike: 01:11:29

It's like saying goodbye when you're using a Ouija board.

Jamie: 01:11:32

Box Office Pulp recommends going to your nearest pumpkin patch and just sitting down, just.

Cody: 01:11:39

Just becoming part of the weeds. I mean, that's pretty much the premise of a Charlie Brown story. So it's fine.

Mike: 01:11:45

You know, we make the animus version of our podcast a horrific either child molester or murderer way too often. I don't know how we're supposed to feel about that.

Cody: 01:11:57

That's just how it is.

Mike: 01:11:58

That's just how the podcast works. Subscribe now.

Cody: 01:12:05

It is what it is. I don't know what you want to say.

Jamie: 01:12:09

Contain Box Office Pulp guy for one more week by subscribing now.

Cody: 01:12:14

It's like that National Lampoons cover. Like, listen to the show or we'll shoot the dog.

Mike: 01:12:18

We.

Cody: 01:12:19

It's on. It's on your hands.